After I graduated from College, I found that the typical nine to five live style did not appeal to me. I was inspired by artists like Bruce Lee and Brad Pit and had a vague idea that I could move to Los Angeles and make a living being in front of the camera in television and film. I had already accrued a black belt in a Korean martial art and had been making money as a male model for almost a decade. I figured I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Five years into devoting my life to “the craft” that is acting and further moving up the ranks in martial arts, my brain stopped working efficiently. I couldn’t sleep for five nights in a row and I had difficulty concentrating and remembering my lines. This led to me being fired off a second season of a network show and ruined a guest star appearance in a popular soap opera. My unusual state of consciousness and behavior also led to reprimands and being forbidden to compete in the martial arts. To add to my troubles, I totaled my car that I had already paid off and was dropped by my agents and my manager.
I drifted into a major depression that led to moving back home with my parents. I spent a year not being able to get off the couch. Things eventually got better when I traveled to Arizona with my brother to watch Spring Training Baseball games and started dating a young woman there. I also started working on a film project involving India and meditation. However, I was still not properly addressing my mental health. I knew that I had bi-polar disorder, but I refused to take the medication that my psychiatrist was recommending. I also started abusing drugs. This led to my arrest.
After my arrest I felt that my life was over. My depression worsened and I suffered from constant suicidal ideations. I got together with a probation team and therapist that worked with me to create positive change. I started taking medication that worked for me. I went through several sales jobs, which taught me a lot about being punctual, the importance of a routine and the art of rhetorical communication. I even had a brief job making bagels in the middle of the night and delivering them to hospitals and churches early in the morning. I started learning about behavioral patterns that I had with friends and women that I dated.
I have learned to create positive change. I believe the human spirit is miraculous, and we have the power to move mountains.
I think it’s very important that there are rules and regulations to govern a society. I also believe that people can change. Every seven years, the human organism is working with a completely new set of cells. I’m working towards building a better life for myself filled with “liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” These are ideals that the founders of this country instituted when they set up the constitution and are currently being compromised with laws and institutions that turn people into “sheeple.”
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